Surviving Sporadic Stupidity

Sometimes people are stupid, and, as a result, they say stupid things. This includes you and me. I’m not being cynical and I mean no offense. It’s just that none of us are immune to episodic ignorance and occasional foot in mouth disease. Fortunately, the condition is not terminal.

I have a friend – a good-hearted southern guy – who likes to say “There is no cure for stupid.” With a few rare exceptions, I disagree with my friend’s assessment. The most common cases of stupidity are temporary and treatable.

Senate Majority Leader, Harry M. Reid, is currently in some hot water for a moment of verbal stupidity he manifested over a year ago. Reid made some racially tinged remarks about Barack Obama to two journalists during the 2008 presidential race. His comments were recently revealed in the book “Game Change,” which has just been released and is causing quite a sensation.

Some Republican leaders are calling for Reid’s resignation, citing that his inappropriate remarks are no different than those that led to Republican Senator Trent Lott’s resignation back in 2002. Lott was the Senate Majority Leader at the time. GOP members calling for Reid’s head argue that it would be unfair to allow him to keep his leadership position when Lott was forced to step down from his.

Some Democratic leaders are standing behind Reid, stating that he has a long and distinguished record of public service, and that he has apologized for his ill-advised remarks. They also cite the issue of fairness, though they have a different spin on it than the Republicans. Those supporting Senator Reid claim that direct comparisons of his actions with those of Senator Lott are inappropriate because the individuals and circumstances are very different.

You can examine for yourself the respective comments made by the two senators and their records of service as politicians. If exercise objectivity, and consider the full context, you will likely conclude that both men are guilty of acts of stupidity, which are now duly recorded in the public annals. There is no question about what each man said. The real issue, the one with all the commotion behind it, has to do with our assumptions about the character and intentions of the two men.

Our assumptions play a powerful role in how we view other people, especially when they make a significant mistake. If we assume good character and no ill-intent on the part of the person, then a humble acknowledgment of the gaff, along with an apology, is usually all it takes. We chalk the matter up to situational stupidity, forgive the offender and put the issue to rest. Of course, repeated stupidity will cause us to dust off the old offense and reassess of our belief about character and intentions of the individual. (Supporters of Senator Reid point out that he had the good grace to apologize while Senator Lott did not. You’ll need to weigh this factor out yourself.)

If we assume bad character or ignoble intentions on the part of another person, then an apology will simply will not cut it. Any apology the person might offer will be viewed with suspicion and judged as insincere or manipulative. We don’t give a stupidity pass to someone we diagnose as bad to the bone. It is game over. This is certainly true in our highly charged political arena, and takes on even more significance in an election year. The Republicans and Democrats are fighting primarily over votes at this point, not words.

So, what do we make of all this? I hope it causes us to understand the potency of our assumptions and to address with honesty and objectivity. We can learn a lot about ourselves by examining and testing our beliefs about the character and intentions of other people. I have a couple of rules of thumb. First, assume good character and intentions on the part of another person until convinced otherwise by sound evidence. This applies to their misspoken words and any apology they may give afterwards. (This rule does not apply to habitual offenders or hate mongers.) Second, allow room for occasional stupidity when it comes to human beings, especially those who have their every word and action recorded and replayed. While inappropriate words can be hurtful and damaging, they can sometimes be spoken as a result of sheer ignorance, lack of awareness or poor self discipline. There are still consequences in these cases, but we should stop short of lopping off heads.

Common stupidity is curable. We can grow and evolve from our mistakes, especially the painful ones. It is best to correct stupidity and move on so that we have the energy and will to fight those who really mean to do harm. It makes sense to me to give stupidity passes to both Senator Reid and Senator Lott (retrospectively). My guess is that they have each learned something very valuable about the importance of respect and the incredible power of words. Smart people will pay close attention and learn along with them.